Building Connections
Our experts have plenty of ideas about what to do if you find yourself feeling lonely. Please note: It can sometimes seem easier not to make the effort to build connectedness. So be proactive, and you are bound to reap the rewards.
Whether your passion is activism or zoology or something in between, there’s bound to be a group where you can share your thoughts with others.
As you take these steps, remember that the best way to develop friendships is to be a friend. Try offering to help a neighbor—perhaps carrying their shopping for them if they are elderly, or raking their leaves while you are doing your own. Receiving gratitude from others makes us feel good. And you might find they do you a good turn in return.
- Borrow a cup of sugar. When is sugar good for you? When you go to a neighbor’s house to borrow the proverbial cup of it. You might end up having a good chat and making a friend—and, of course, you don’t actually need to use the sugar.
- Use the Internet to make real friends who live nearby. On the eve of a recent National Walk to School Day, for example, one mother used Facebook to invite other parents to walk to school. The next morning, some 30 neighboring parents and children joined together on a beautiful fall morning for a brisk walk filled with conversation and laughter. The adults made introductions, swapped email addresses, and arranged play dates. The kids discovered new friends who lived just a few doors away. And it all started with a handful of words on a Web site.
- Been inside all day? Simply take a walk through your neighborhood. See where and to whom it leads you.
- Got work to do? It can be much more pleasurable doing it in a café or coffeehouse than alone at home.
- Walk the dog. You know the classic movie scene—man walks dog in park, beautiful woman stops to admire cute dog. Next, they’re shopping for engagement rings. Try it. Borrow a dog if you have to! At the least, walking the dog is a great way to meet other dog- and nature-lovers.
- Playground friendships aren’t just for kids. Take the kids to a playground or other child-oriented venue so you can meet other parents.
- Organize a community gardenand cultivate naturally grown, high-quality, ultra-cheap fruits and vegetables for everyone in the group. The benefits are many:
- It takes just an hour or two each week…plus get-togethers to sample the healthy dishes you’ve all created from scratch.
- You’ll benefit from fresh air and exercise.
- You can arrange to share cooking duties with fellow gardeners and neighbors—say, one night a week.
- Stock up on fun, challenging board games to play at home with the family. It beats watching television together in silence!
- Organize outdoor activities with family or friends. Try touch football, baseball, or hiking. Making it a regular thing will give you all something to look forward to—and you may also make new friends if others start to join in.
- Try joining a group of like-minded people who reflect your vision, values, and purpose. The group might be an online forum, an offline group, such as a parents’ club, some combination of the two, such as a running group that uses MeetUp to schedule runs.
- Join the local YMCA. There are nearly 2,700 YMCA locations throughout the United States. Find one near you.
- Plan a date with your spouse, partner, or a close friend. It’s easy to neglect spending quality time with our spouses, partners, or close friends.
